Saddlemen Saddlebags - Don't Waste Your Money

 

This summer, sitting around the house, laid off due to the ‘Rona, I decided to do a couple of things with the bike. One of those things was to get a nice set of saddlebags.Well, that was the goal, anyway.

 I looked around a few motorcycle accessory websites, and settled on a set of bags called the Saddlemen Cruis’n Teardrop Saddlebags. They were nice looking imitation leather with an interior plastic framework to hold the shape, and they had a yoke that mounts underneath the seat and the bags themselves attach via zippers for easy removal to take your bags into a tent or motel room. They even included chrome D rings to lock the zipper pulls to, and little padlocks for the illusion of security.

 

I spent most of the day June 10 installing them. I can’t really fault Saddlemen for that – we all know that “universal fit” is an optimistic term at best. I had to fight with my bike’s configuration and do a lot of disassembly to get those brackets in. But hey – it wasn’t like I had to go to work, right? The bags themselves weren’t all that easy to mount, either. The material was stiffer than regular leather, making it hard to get the zippers lined up properly. They also required two strings each (front and rear edge of the bag) to be tied to the support brackets, plus a nylon webbing strap with a quick release buckle on the bottom of the bag to strap to the bracket. So much for an easy saddlebag removal. Oh well – I always pack stuff in a bag before it goes into the saddlebags anyway and rarely remove the bags.

 

So, after all that, I used the turn signal relocation bracket that was included in the package, because the bags crowded the signals just a bit. Then, the bags went on. Looked great, too. I went on a shakedown run – about 20 or 30 minutes with mixed residential riding (frequent stops) and some interstate blast to see how they held at speed. All looked good. That was Wednesday. On Thursday or Friday, I went across town – about an hour round trip, mostly highway miles. They still seemed good.

I had a rare fit of insomnia Friday night/early Saturday (June 13) morning, so I went for a predawn ride. It was all going great – kind of refreshing to ride in cool night air as a break from the summer heat of the day. I was enjoying myself on a rural state highway, and then it happened. I heard a “whop whop whop” sound. At first I thought my tire had gone flat, then I realized the ride didn’t feel any different. I came to a stop at a red light and looked back at the tire, to find that the left saddlebag was almost off the bike and had been flopping against my tire. The zipper had come undone from the base – the opposite end of where the zipper pull was. Luckily I wasn’t on a long trip on an interstate when it happened, or it would have completely come off or worn a hole in the sidewall before I knew it was happening. As it was, the tire ate a hole into the corner of the bag, and there was a strip of melted bag plastic all the way around the wheel rim. I pulled over and used bungee cords to hold it off the tire until I got home and removed the bags. (Yes, you can see in the photo that I didn't attach the little padlock. That's because I thought they were more for security, but you can also see that the zipper completely let go at the other end.)

When I got home, I looked at Saddlemen’s website and the best information I could get was to call during business hours. I was kind of ticked at that, because I’d rather have sent an email then, so it would be waiting for the warranty people when they came into work on Monday. I left a voicemail and got an email reply the next day saying I’d hear from them in 24-48 hours. When 72 hours rolled around, I sent a reply email and never got a response from that. Finally, a week later, I ended up talking to a live person, who told me I should have emailed them with my information and problem. Now I was more irritated, since I’d wanted to do that very thing, but the website was misleading.

 

For the next three weeks, I’d be promised an update, and not get one in a timely manner. I’d have to leave multiple emails and voice mails before I’d get a response. The response usually didn’t happen until I allowed an angry tone of voice to come through (after a long retail career, I try to at least keep a neutral tone when I’m angry with customer service). At one point, I went over a week with no response. The customer service person apologized at one point, saying he’d been sick and out of the office. I can sympathize with that, but it seems like if he were going to be out for a while, knowing he had an unhappy customer, he should have asked somebody to cover the account for him. He kept having to talk to the warranty department and go back and forth between them and me. I have no idea why he couldn’t just connect me with them. I’d already decided I was done with this company once the situation was done. I can understand a defective part. What I won’t accept (again, after a retail career) is substandard customer service.

Finally, I was told since it had been so long, they would just send me a new set of bags and I wouldn’t even have to return the old ones. They’d ship the bags that afternoon and email me the tracking number.  I thought that was a good move, and felt like they were trying to make it right. That was a Monday (July 13). July 15 came, and still no email, so I emailed the rep again. I got a voice mail from him the next day saying they’d ship then (the 16). No tracking number either. No surprise.

 

The replacement bags finally came, and I installed them. Luckily I didn’t have to wrestle with the mounting brackets again, so it was just a matter of zipping them on and tying the support strings and straps to the brackets. I wasn’t entirely happy with the support arrangement, feeling like the bags rested too far aft of the supports, so a friend and I bent up some metal rods and attached them to the supports. I also didn’t like the idea of those strings either getting caught on the tire or coming united, so I replaced them with carabiners.

 

All was well until I’d had them reattached a couple of months and noticed the “chrome” hardware was already showing rust. Granted, I don’t have a garage, and my bike sits in the weather, but it seems to me that saddlebags are a touring item and should be able to hold up to inclement weather for years. 

Shortly after noticing the rust, the carry handle on top of the right saddle bag tore. I was attaching a small overnight bag to the passenger seat with a bungee cargo net. The hooks went to the fender and the saddlebag supports, and I just hooked the middle hooks to the carrying straps to keep them from flopping. You’d think a handle intended to carry a full saddlebag would stand up to a bungee hook that isn’t bearing any weight at all. Anyway, I took that bag off and used the right bag from the original set.

 

That was okay until last Friday when I went to bungee my lunchbox to the passenger seat to go home from work, and saw that the right bag zipper had come undone. Once again, it didn’t just come unzipped like a jacket would – it came undone from the base.

So, now I have to call Saddlemen after work Monday and see if they’ll give me a refund. I doubt it since they already replaced the bags once. At best, they’ll probably offer me another set of bags, but they can keep them. My experience with Saddlemen has been nothing but negative, and I’ll never buy another thing from them. Lousy customer service, and from my experience, consistently shoddy merchandise. They have a good reputation for their seats, but apparently that’s where all their effort goes, and they don’t care about the bags.

Sleepwalking

Wow. I just looked and it's been over a year since my last post. What the hell?

In my defense, I've had a lot going on in the last year, and to be honest, I've been writing more lately; I've just been more focused on fiction and it's not really blog material.

I had an interesting thing happen recently. I've mentioned that I live in my Dad's house these days. He owns an old portable manual typewriter. It's contained in a suitcase like container with a handle and all. He used to type my term papers for me on them in high school. Kids, this was long before the average person owned a computer. Even at that, an electric typewriter would've been an easier tool, but my dad plugged away on this thing. Eventually I learned to type for myself.

I digress. One morning, in the wee hours, I woke up to go to the bathroom. As I got out of bed, my foot hit something.

Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not: this antique typewriter was sitting on top of my blankets. I can only think of one other time in my life I walked in my sleep, so the fact that I got out of bed, went to another room of the house, and brought this thing back to bed with me feels significant. I was pretty puzzled, to say the least, but I put it on the floor and went back to bed.

Thinking about it for a couple of hours after waking up, the only conclusion I could come to was that my subconscious mind was trying to  give my conscious brain a kick in the mental ass and tell it to

WRITE MORE

So, that's what I've been trying to do. Write more. Like I said, I've been working on a few things. Some fiction, some semi-autobiographical stuff. But I realized I'd been neglecting the blog, and I used to enjoy writing it. So, this is me, writing more.

Think I can still find ribbon for that old Royal?

Biker Meditation

I was in sort of a mood this morning, for a variety of reasons I won’t go into here, except to say that one of them was probably that I haven’t had a good ride in a while. So, when your thoughts are all tangled and your mood is dark, the best thing to do to unfuck yourself is meditation. Specifically biker meditation, also known as wind therapy. Besides, I just oiled all the leathers yesterday – they needed to be aired out.

I was pretty proud to still be able to zip my chaps down my legs. There were a couple winters recently I couldn’t, due to “middle age spread”. I’ve had this same pair since 1989, so I really want to see how long I can make them last. So far, they’ve outlasted four leather jackets, four ol’ ladies, and about ten bikes. Who knows how many miles they’ve seen?

I digress. I put Lucy on a charger while I ate breakfast, because A) it’s been a while since I really rode her, B) we’ve had some cold nights lately, which can drain a battery left unused and outside, and C) due to finances of the moment, I was forced to buy a low quality, cheap-ass battery a few months ago.

Aaaaaanyhow, I got her all fired up and warmed up and myself suited up. Huh, look at that sentence – my day was already looking up….. (see what I did there?)

Sunday Rd on Sunday afternoon

Off I went. I started down some familiar territory, but chose some different roads branching off the state highways I’ve gotten used to. When you see a side road named Sunday Rd and you’re riding with no destination or schedule on a Sunday, you just kinda HAVE to try it, right? It turned out to be mainly residential, but had some hills and curves, so it wasn’t completely disappointing. A weird thing about today was that I kept taking these random turns onto roads I’d never ridden before, and somehow I kept riding circles and coming back to places I’d already been today. I’m not gonna lie, it felt like a metaphor for life, especially with the way my mind had been working earlier in the day.









But I just rolled with it, and let the engine vibration, the chilly air and the wind brush the stress away. After a couple of hours of crisp air, rolling through some semi-rural roads lined with a mix of Georgia pine and half barren trees still hanging onto some leaves that varied between red, brown, and gold, my mental load felt a lot lighter. Even when I found myself on an unfamiliar road heading toward downtown, with long lines at red lights, I didn’t stress it.

Autumn foliage in the metro ATL

Well, until I got stuck behind a bus doing 30 in a 45, holding up traffic, with no clear sight line to be able to pass safely. And me with a full bladder! By the time I was able to stop somewhere, I was doing the pee pee dance. Ah well, a couple drinks later and I was back to being relaxed.

So, the cure for an overthinking day in November appears to be wind and gin. In that order, mind you: be safe out there.

Winterizing Your Motorcycle (Southern Style)

You can find all kinds of articles in print and online containing information on how to “winterize” your motorcycle. From what I can tell, the final step involves actually ignoring the poor machine, possibly for months, afterwards.

But whyyyyyyy?????

Speaking from my own experience, having lived as far north as the Baltimore suburbs for two winters, I can tell you all you really need to know to winterize your bike.

1. Make sure your tires have good tread and keep them inflated to the proper psi. Or whatever the metric equivalent is, if you live in one of those places.
2. Be sure to change your oil and filter every 3,000 miles or so. Again, or the metric equivalent. You do the math, because I don’t feel like it.
3. This one is very important, and can save you a LOT of trouble. As soon as possible after switching to reserve or seeing the fuel light come on, refill your gas tank.
These are the basic steps to winterizing a motorcycle, and should keep you running through the winter. Also, for the rest of the year, for that matter.

Advanced steps might include things like installing a windshield/fairing, a wiring accessory to plug an electric jacket/vest liner into, or memorizing the locations of the Waffle House locations in your area that tend to have the freshest coffee.


Ride ‘em, don’t hide ‘em, folks!

So Far

As I’m closing in on the half century mark, I grow reflective and pensive. Of course this is contributed to by friends’ Facebook posts. One high school classmate posted about her list of 50 Things To Do Before Turning 50. Another turned 50 today and posted a status with his own particular wry take on the fiftieth trip around the sun.

In the past, I’ve been inclined to think I’ve led a boring life. After all, most of my friends usually have wilder, bolder, more extreme stories of their exploits. Occasionally, I get reminders that everything is relative. It’s less a case of a boring life, and more that I’ve chosen to surround myself with some truly larger than life folks.

I thought I was boring, calm, conservative. Hearing my girlfriend-at-the-time’s assessment of my lifestyle a few years ago made me realize that I was just the calm one in my crowd. Kind of like being the smartest kid on the short bus, apparently, because ultimately I was too wild and out there for her.

Several years ago, I was standing in line waiting for the accountants who set up temporary kiosks at Walmart to do taxes. I’d ridden, so I was wearing my club colors. An older gentleman who was also waiting to get his taxes done starting asking questions about the various patches on my cut. Normally, too many questions will get on my nerves. However, this gentleman seemed genuinely just simply curious, and was completely respectful. We wound up in quite a long conversation (highly unusual for me in such circumstances), and he drew my history out of me. As we closed our talk, he commented “Well, you’ve certainly had an interesting life so far.” And I was awestruck by that simple statement. I’ve lost sight of it many times since, but once in a while that conversation drifts back to mind and I reflect back on my “boring” life.

Let’s see, looking back…………

Six weeks after high school graduation, I was in Navy Boot Camp. I went to the Defense Language Institute, where I became fluent in Farsi, then went on to a couple of other schools for intelligence/crypto training. My permanent duty station (PCS) was at the Naval Security Group Activity (NSGA) Ft. Meade, in Maryland. It’s home to the NSA, whose headquarters building I worked in for a couple of years. I was deployed to Command, Middle East Forces (COMMIDEASTFOR), in the Persian Gulf, and spent time on multiple warships manned by the finest maritime fighting force in the world. I saw offshore oil rigs spouting flames several stories into the air, resulting from a battle more than two years prior. I watched schools of luminescent fish swim alongside a frigate at night. Walked the twisted streets of the bazaar in Manama, Bahrain – streets and buildings which had probably not changed much in hundreds of years (with the exception of adding wiring and plumbing). I climbed a rope ladder down the side of a frigate and jumped into a 27’ boat to travel a couple hundred yards and climb up a rope ladder and board a cruiser. There’s nothing quite like a sunset crossdeck by motor boat while underway in the PG.

Counting my military time, I’ve lived in Georgia, California, Texas, Florida, and Maryland.

In all, I’ve set foot in seven foreign countries and twenty three states (and Washington, DC).

I’ve ridden a motorcycle in fifteen states and Mexico. I’ve ridden in temperatures over 110 degrees, and under 20. I’ve ridden in rain so hard I couldn’t see the lane divider lines. I’ve been caught in freezing rain such that when I stood up off the bike, sheets of ice fell off me. I’ve ridden at ludicrous speeds through ridiculous situations with complete confidence in my fellow riders. I’ve spent saddle time alongside some of the best motorcycle riders there are. Also, some of the worst. I’ve managed to get groups I was leading hopelessly lost in the middle of nowhere, but hey – if it all went according to plan, we wouldn’t have anything to talk about, would we?

I’ve had the pleasure and honor to wear colors with the greatest Motorcycle Club in the world for over 25 years: Gypsy MC. During that time, I served as Road Captain five times, Sergeant At Arms five or six terms, Vice President twice, Secretary twice, and ultimately was an Area Vice President for four years before retiring from active membership. They say the colors don’t make the person, the person makes the colors, but Gypsy has a lot to do with who I am today.

I’ve been threatened with knives and guns and survived. I’ve fought in bars, raced on the streets along the Mexico border, and been involved in a car/motorcycle chase and here I am. Maybe a little worse for wear, but there’s that thing about things to talk about, eh? The best stories come from the worst decisions. 



I’ve been with women. Mostly (but not always), we parted ways on a friendly note. Mostly (but not always) we parted due to some fault of mine. (Cue Julio Iglesias’ song “To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before”….). I’d like to think I’ve learned some lessons along the way and I hope that my current relationship lasts.

I have two wonderful children, one of whom is starting his own adulthood, and one who is just beginning her education. I couldn’t be prouder of either of them. He’s working at building a career in the entertainment industry, and even at her young age, she’s leaning towards art. My two artists: I can’t wait to see where their own journeys take them.

I’ve recently relocated back to Georgia, and my childhood home. Back to my roots. Beginning the next chapter of my life. Who knows what adventures lie in wait for me in the next few decades? After all, it’s been a pretty eventful “boring” life…


So far.

Winterizing Your Bike, for Southerners

I went for a ride today. I put a friend on hold for some tentative plans we had, because "it's a pretty nice day, and there probably won't be a whole lot more before the cold weather kicks in".

Well, "cold weather", as most of us know, is a relative term. I live in the southeastern US, The South. Georgia. We're actually gifted with a climate that allows year-round riding. So when I talk about one of the last nice riding days, I mean without bundling up.

It was the kind of day I really enjoy. I got my first bike, a 1978 Honda Hondamatic 400cc back in 1989, picking it up in the winter. I rode it through Spring and early summer, until I deployed to the Persian Gulf for a little while. When I came back with some extra money in my bank account, I dropped a down payment on a 1985 Honda Shadow 700, which I consider my first "real" bike. The rides I used to take after that deployment settled into my psyche as perfect riding weather.


Perfect riding weather, like today. High 60s and sunny. The kind of weather where I head out with a leather jacket, but just a t shirt underneath - no need for layering on a day like this. The kind of day where when you're stopped, you feel the sun warming up the leather, and you even start to feel hot if the red light takes too long turning green, but then as you get up to speed, you feel the chill as the cool wind creeps in around the edges of the jacket at collar and sleeve. The kind of day where everything just seems right. The motor fires at just the right rpm level to let you feel the vibration, but never overwhelms you. Where the sun hits at just the right angle, and never blinds you in an unfamiliar curve. The kind of day where you glance at a side road and this time you don't file it away in your memory for another day, but double back and turn off to see what it has to offer a curious rider who has a day off work on a Tuesday.

It wasn't lost on me that although this was pretty much the perfect riding day here, there are many people who are already performing their annual ritual of winterizing their motorcycle to prepare it for months of storage in a garage or shed. This is a really big part of what I love about living in the South. Mild climate. Year round riding. None of that fluffy white stuff that falls out of the sky and makes it hard for rubber tires to maintain traction on asphalt.

So, if you're in the right climate, don't take it for granted. Get out there and ride. Pay attention and really appreciate what you have. And if you're stuck in the great northern wasteland, try to get in a few more good rides if you can. And as you're putting that bike away for the next few months, we'll be doing our own winterizing: pulling the heavy gloves, chaps, and warm layers (or electric liners) out of the closet.

Personal Rebuild

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

― Dorothy Parker

And that, my friends, is my problem. Makes me think I should pick up some of old Dorothy’s books and see what she managed to churn out in spite of herself. I’ve been told I’m a good writer, but to be honest, sometimes it’s hard to make myself do it, even though I like the results. Well, sometimes. But I guess like any other hobby/pastime/passion/whatever, no matter how much you enjoy something, it can become a chore at times. You just have to push through that, and keep your eyes on the good times ahead. Kind of like bikers in the winter. Sure, your fingertips get numb, and your whole body is tense, but on some level, the ride itself is still fun, or you wouldn’t do it. So you push through, waiting anxiously for warmer weather.

I do want to write more. Once upon a time, I wrote nearly every day. I keep saying I’m going to do that again. I also keep saying I’m going to do some other things more, too. It’s well past time for talking about it, and I’m getting a pretty late start at the actual doing. It’s time to put up or shut up. Fish or cut bait. Shit or get off the pot.

I’m inspired by a friend. She made a list of changes she wanted to make in her life, and created an Instagram account to post about it and to hold herself accountable. She has a hundred things on her list, and is adding one each day, then accounting for how she implements the new habits, and how she’s maintaining them all as time goes on.

While I applaud my friend, and enjoy her posts, I know myself well enough to know that that level of both detail and obligation (even self-imposed) would just backfire and basically push me away. So, I’m following her inspiration, but with my own spin.

So, in no particular order, here’s my own list, with accompanying commentary.

·         Write.
I used to write blog posts a few times a week. I’m going to get back to that. I think I also want to try to work in some more fiction. I may not post the fiction, at least not immediately, but I’d like to work up to writing at least an hour per day average. Life happens, so obviously actual time spent will fluctuate, and if I end up doing more on a regular basis, that’s even better.

·         Exercise
I’m solidly into middle age, and terribly out of shape, so in the interest of realism, I’m not looking at any bodybuilding competitions or marathons or whatever. Just trying to get my ass in motion and feel better in general. Maybe as I improve, I’ll develop more ambitious goals, but for now, I’m looking to grind out a walk and/or some pushups and situps/crunches every day.

·         Read
I used to be this guy who had a book in his lunchbox to read on break at work, another book or magazine on the coffee table to pick up during commercials while watching TV, and one on the nightstand for pre-sleep reading. Then along came the internet and close on its heels, social media. Then easy streaming  bingeing of TV shows and movies. I actually fell out of the habit of reading for a while. I’m reading more now, but I’d like to expand it. So, I’m committing to an hour per day (not counting what reading I do on break at work). I’ve never been good about reading nonfiction, so I’m looking to bump that up too. Part of the commitment is to read at least one chapter a day of nonfiction. Honestly, this is probably going to be the easiest part of the whole program.

·         Stay current on correspondence
When I got my first smartphone, I thought it would help me stay in touch and up to date with communication. Nah, it helped me waste even more time with its easy access to things like Facebook and Twitter. Sure, I can read emails during the day when I’m nowhere near my computer. But then I decide that a reply will be easier on the full sized keyboard at home. And I promptly forget to go back and write that reply. As a result, I have a backlog of emails and Messenger messages waiting my attention. So, the goal here is to fix that and to stay on top of the messages. I’ll work out some sort of system. Maybe set aside a day a week to make sure I catch up on anything I’ve put off over the previous seven days.

·         Less “TV”
The quotation marks indicate that TV means all those things I use the TV for: Netflix, Hulu, Vudu, DVDs. Movies, shows, all of it. The goal is to limit it to an hour a day. This will honestly probably fluctuate a bit, too, and that’s okay. I’ll also make exceptions for days I’m stuck at home sick, and obviously if I decide to watch a movie that will go over the time. I think in this case, the spirit of the law is more important than the letter of the law.

·         Disconnect more from the phone
I’ve become more addicted to my phone than a teenage girl, and that needs to stop for a number of reasons. I took a couple of steps already. A few months ago, I deleted the Facebook app. That alone reduced my phone screen time. I just started a new job where we’re not allowed to have phones on our person while working, so that’s been a big help in making this particular adjustment, too. I can’t reach for the phone just because I have thirty seconds of space to fill.

I’m hoping that writing out this list and posting it online will help bolster my commitment to making some improvements. I started out trying to push myself to write more, and look at this. An all-around self improvement plan. Who knew writing could also make you a better person?

I know this is kind of a boring blog post, but I guess I’m trying to rehab my writer’s legs. Gotta crawl before I can walk, right?


Wish me luck, y’all. Here I goooooo……


P.S. I know it’s a big no-no because of SEO and original content and all, but I’m doing a copy and paste of this onto both of the blogs I’m maintaining. These are www.ridinandwritin.blogspot.com and www.handgrenadesandhorseshoes.blogspot.com. Whichever one you’re reading this on, take a few minutes and check out my other writing on the other blog.

P.P.S Thanks for the inspiration, BW. Thanks for the occasional written kick in the ass to help motivate me, too.